Remembering to Love

“The most important part of Advent is that we love each other. “

-Nancy Tyson

Nancy and I sat together and I asked her if we could talk about forgiveness. She looked up at the ceiling and told me: “I forgive everybody.” Then she said, “I just remember to love.” I asked her, “How?”
 
You know Nancy. She sat thoughtfully for a minute. I watched her. I wondered if she was pondering my very open-ended question and coming up with an answer.  I waited. Then I asked, “Is it easy?” and Nancy replied, “Yes.”
 
I thought about that. And, I didn’t agree because it is not easy for me to remember to love everyone. It is not easy for me to forgive everybody.
 
I asked Nancy, “is it always easy?” She said, “no,” and I was relieved. But then she said, “mostly easy,” and I thought about that. Is it true? I don’t know. Sometimes, I guess. I thought about how to ask the questions, how to unlock the wisdom that Nancy holds. You can’t force these things; it takes finesse!
 
I asked Nancy “What are some things you have had to forgive in community?” I looked around the Farmhouse living room. It was just me, Nancy and Shann home. I smiled a little and wrinkled my forehead and asked Nancy, “Have you had to forgive Shann when she gets into your room” Nancy replied, “More than a few times.”
 
Next, I said, “Sometimes you need to forgive the same thing over and over again?” Nancy nodded her head, “yes.”
 
I asked Nancy if anyone has ever had to forgive her. Nancy said, “hmm” as she thought about it, and then nodded her head “yes.” She spelled, “Stacie (with an ‘ie’).” I was a little surprised that Swannie is who came to her mind. I asked her, “how come?” Nancy shrugged and told me, “Because that’s what friends do.”
 
I asked Nancy “when is it hard to forgive someone?” and she told me “If we can’t get it out of our brain.” I said, “Like if you keep thinking about it over and over again.”

-Michelle Boverman and Nancy Tyson