by Chris Castaneda, Jesuit Novice
As I reflect on my time here at L’Arche, I can’t help but compare my experience to another transformational time in my journey as a novice – the 30-day Silent Retreat. The more I think about these two experiences, the more similar they seem, except for the fact that my time here at L’Arche was anything but silent! As I contemplate what my experience at Anawim has meant for me, I realize I’ve been given the opportunity to live out the Spiritual Exercises in daily life.
In the first week of the Exercises, we are called to be vulnerable and acknowledge our failures, knowing that we have a loving and merciful God who is always calling us back into love. My first couple of weeks at Anawim were definitely a challenge. I was overwhelmed learning routines, getting to know core members and assistants, and just trying to not mess anything up. I quickly realized that I had a group of people who were constantly there to help. Anawim created an environment for me to feel loved and to grow in my capacity to love and serve.
The second week of the Exercises is about reflecting on the life and ministry of Jesus: a time to develop a relationship with our Savior. After beginning to find my rhythm living at Anawim, I had the opportunity to develop relationships with the core members and assistants. This is an exciting time to discover the many gifts and talents everyone brings to the table. Through these relationships, I was able to find how Christ lives in each person. Christ’s patience, love and tenderness began to be revealed through the many interactions of daily life.
The third week is about following Jesus through the Passion, to enter into the suffering and deepen our relationship with him. As my relationships began to develop at Anawim, there was a chance to go deeper. This invitation has taken on a special meaning due to the increase in anxiety and uncertainty brought about by the pandemic and recent spikes in Covid-19 cases. I have felt called during this time to live out the sacrificial love that Jesus demonstrated through his Passion. Inspired by the actions and attitudes of the other assistants, I have learned to experience joy in cooking pot pie for a certain core member, going on outings to the drive-in, being a listening ear, or just giving my time for silliness around the house.
As my time here comes to a close, I can’t help but think about the invitation of the fourth week of the Exercises, where we contemplate God’s unconditional love. I am grateful for the joy and love I have experienced with my new family at Anawim. My time has shined a light on the importance of relationships, and what a gift that is to each one of us. Relationships yield so much grace in our lives and the lives of others. Through unconditional divine love, we experience kindness, forgiveness, patience, and joy through human relationships. It is this wonderful experience that has given me the opportunity to stretch and grow in my capacity to give and receive love, a gift that I know will serve as a foundational experience as I continue my formation with the Jesuits.
